Hazy Gaze Turned to Praise
Yesterday seemed like “another quarantine day.” I made some noodles, had some meetings, and edited a few things on photoshop - with witty Katie-esque banter peppered throughout. Right now we have our Christmas tree up in solidarity with jolly-er times, and for me it’s likened to a beacon of nostalgia and comfort. At one point I found myself deep into research and rabbit holes for various current projects and arrived at an all too familiar place: a wall, brain-block, and disinterest. In an attempt to uncoil, or omit such blockage, I scrolled through increasing volumes of posts, stories, plank challenges, and covid-19 updates. That was equally unfulfilling. A little thought peeked through the noise saying why don’t you do something personal right now, as in just you and Me. This wasn’t a self-seeking proposition, but rather a prompt in shifting perspective. I needed to produce something that was uniquely me and the Lord, regardless of what projects I’d been in the process of completing.
At the wee hour 11:45pm, I decided to dig into my video archives and edit footage from a trip I took with a friend of mine almost a full year ago. It wasn’t until about 3:00am that I realized it was a little later than I expected. Gumption had filled my veins and at 5:45am I hit the sheets having produced a little piece of me for the world to see. Later, riding the wave of #teamnosleep, I had such a weightless and airy disposition having had engaged in something that brings me joy. Meetings, projects, and research seemed bright and shiny again.
In retrospect I saw that the Lord had shifted my gaze from a myriad of details and circumstances, to simply worshipping Him with the gifts He’s given me. That the very act of engaging the Lord and doing something that brings me joy turned my eyes to the creator himself. The below verses speak to what Jesus was focused on when he went to the cross:
Hebrews 12:2-3 (TPT)
2 We look away from the natural realm and we fasten our gaze onto Jesus who birthed faith within us and who leads us forward into faith’s perfection. His example is this: Because his heart was focused on the joy of knowing that you would be his, he endured the agony of the cross and conquered its humiliation, and now sits exalted at the right hand of the throne of God!
3 So consider carefully how Jesus faced such intense opposition from sinners who opposed their own souls, so that you won’t become worn down and cave in under life’s pressures.
Jesus was focused on the joy of knowing that we would be His! He was faced with crucifixion, humiliation, and a plethora of ailments, and STILL was willing - His gaze was set on the right things. I’m thankful for a close and personal God that gently nudges me back to the right gaze: that is, simply to enjoy being loved by Him.
My final thought is this: seek to find ways to shift your gaze to how much God loves you. This is not a selfish thing, and yet as I write it, I feel a slight twang that hey, that’s a little vain, when it’s quite the opposite! In fact, it’s what God desires for us to do! Challenge the Lord with questions such as ok Lord, what’s another way that you love me? What gifts did you give me? Why do I think this way, and what do you love about that? How much do you love me? Would you love me if I had pink hair? What’s your favorite thing about me?
One thing’s certain, you cannot out-question God especially when the topic is how much, and in what ways He loves you.When we turn our eyes to Jesus and God’s love made manifest in His sacrifice, the result is that we are not worn down (or, in my case, hit with a wall) and we do not cave in under life’s pressures! How wonderful is that?! This quarantine has its cons, but opportunities to intentionally put thought to how much God loves me in a real and present way definitely makes the pro list. Thanks, quarantine.